Why does the 3D keep testing me with my SP's behaviour, even when I am trying to change my story?

Me and my SP stay an hr away frm each other. We get to see each other once in 4-5 months or even a year. Its not that we are incapable of , since its not that far even. I can easily go and and meet him. But when it comes to him, he always has to make excuses or doesn’t put an effort to meet me. His reason- since its his work place, he doesn’t want any other person to see him or judge him. He thinks its not a safe place since its a small place where everybody kinda knows each other.

Its always me, who has to “push him” to meet me. I had to go there without informing him, stay in a hotel and call him at that moment and ask him so many times to come over. I literally request him. And whenever I make a plan to meet him and inform early, like I did now.. he makes his overthinking reasons and now he is not responding my texts and felt it frustrating and stressing. ( thats the reason I dont inform him before while I plan to actually meet him but this time I did, cause I am manifesting him to a better way overall and hoped he will change. He even agreed to me but again pushes me away saying he is scared to meet me there)

I feel so drained, thinking why 3D is testing me again and again. Whether be it him distancing me or reacting like the current way . Now he is not speaking or texting me or replying or even caring my feelings. I feel why it cant be just simple ? Why I always be in a position where 3d just not test me and emotions ? I love him so much and I just feel so much in pain thinking about his behaviour. I wanted to meet him this month.