Can I keep manifesting my SP when he’s breadcrumbing me and I’m becoming resentful? Should I reject this current version of him until he shows up how I want, or keep entertaining him?

My SP and I have been on and off for about four years, and I’m at a point where I’m questioning whether I should continue manifesting him while the version of him I’m currently experiencing is not treating me the way I want or deserve.

Throughout our relationship, commitment and communication have been major issues. He has never really given me the security or clarity I want, and I don’t feel like he treats me particularly well or makes me feel valued, cherished or spoiled. Last year, I eventually reached my limit and completely cut him off. He came back begging me to give him another chance, and because I still loved and wanted him, I agreed. However, despite giving him that opportunity, I don’t feel like enough has actually changed.

There have been some small signs of progress, and I can acknowledge those, but they aren’t enough for me to feel secure in the relationship. He still seems unsure about commitment and whether he actually wants marriage, despite us having been involved for four years. At this stage, I need much more than vague feelings or occasional improvements. I want a clearly defined relationship, consistency, good communication, effort, commitment and a clear sense that we are building towards marriage.

I have also made my boundaries around sex very clear. I’ve told him that I’m not going to sleep with him again until he defines our relationship and is clear about where this is going. Despite knowing this, he continues trying to initiate sex whenever we are together, and I continue saying no. It frustrates me because I don’t want physical intimacy to continue while the emotional commitment and security I need are still missing.

This is where I’m conflicted about manifestation. I still want him, and I can imagine a version of our relationship where he is committed, communicative, loving, generous, consistent and certain about me. But I’m becoming increasingly resentful of the version of him I’m actually dealing with. It feels wrong to keep entertaining someone who is breadcrumbing me while telling myself that I’m manifesting a better version of him.

Should I stop entertaining this current version of my SP and maintain my boundaries until his behaviour genuinely changes? Can I continue manifesting the relationship and version of him that I want while refusing to accept the treatment I’m currently receiving?

I don’t want to confuse “living in the end” with tolerating behaviour that goes against my standards. At the same time, I don’t want resentment toward his current behaviour to interfere with what I’m trying to manifest. How do I hold onto my desire for him while also refusing to settle for breadcrumbs, uncertainty and a relationship that still isn’t meeting my needs?